Does Love Involve Sacrifice or Compromise?

“Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love is by far the truest type of love.” Unknown
“A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.” Oscar Wilde

The need for sacrifices and compromises is often mentioned in discussions of romantic relationships. Are the two the same and if not, which of the two is most needed in romantic relationships? According to Romantic Ideology, love is frequently described as involving sacrifices and resisting compromises. In reality, the situation is typically the opposite-relationships require fewer sacrifices and more compromises.

To sacrifice is to give up something precious in order to gain or maintain something, such as a valuable relationship or some other worthy cause. Thus, we say that some women sacrifice their careers for their family. The term “sacrifice” is often used in religious contexts referring to the act of offering something precious to a deity, such as the sacrificial murder of a victim. As Romantic Ideology has certain aspects in common with religious beliefs, the term “sacrifice” is frequently used in romantic contexts as well. Intense love has no qualms about making considerable sacrifices.

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To compromise is to give up the pursuit of a better prospect in order not to risk an existing situation, even if it is perceived to be somewhat worse than the prospect that is relinquished. Although the prospect might be better and even considered feasible, the person decides not to pursue it.

The realm of sacrifice is in the actual realm; the realm of compromise is in the possible and imaginary realm. Sacrifice entails actual deeds and losses. One cannot sacrifice in one’s mind what one does not have in reality. Compromise typically entails inaction and possible losses, which are constantly reconsidered in our minds.

Compromises are loaded with intense emotional aspects and are harder to bear, as they involve unfinished business that could alter the existing situation. Sacrifices deal with actual and concrete actions. Like other actions, their consequences can be positive or negative but once completed, they are over and tend not to carry a significant emotional load.

We are typically excited by things that are incomplete, unsettled, unexplained, or uncertain, as we perceive them to be unusual and so they demand our attention and thoughts. Once the situation is settled and established, there is no reason for the mental system to be on the alert and invest further resources. Courtship, flirting, extramarital affairs and cyberlove are exciting because they seem in a sense to be unfinished business.

When compromising, you give up something that you want and might in fact attain; when sacrificing, you give up something that you actually have. In this regard it is worthwhile to compare the relationship between compromise and sacrifice to that between envy and jealousy. When envious, you want something that you do not have and when jealous, you fear losing something precious that you have (such as an intimate relationship) to someone else. Jealousy is typically more painful as it is harder to lose something personal that is already yours (especially when the loss is to a rival) than to fail to gain something that has never been yours. The situation in the compromise-sacrifice pair is the opposite: The potential loss has greater negative significance than the actual loss.

A major difference between the envy-jealousy pair and the compromise-sacrifice pair is that the situations of the former pair are forced upon us by external circumstances beyond our control, whereas in the latter pair we choose those circumstances.

The actual loss in jealousy is against the wish of the agent and refers to a most sensitive personal aspect-the loss of a very intimate lover. Hence, it is more painful than envy where the potential loss is less feasible and less personal. In sacrifice, the actual loss is chosen by the agent and it refers to something with which the agent believes she can cope.

The potential loss in compromise is more emotionally painful because it involves unfinished business; the person might not accept the compromise and might be constantly aware of its negative aspects. Sacrifice is less emotional as the person has willingly made it and has no further doubts concerning its value and necessity, unless the person begins to regret it. Sacrifice is so natural among lovers that they are sometimes even not aware of it. The typical emotion associated with compromise is frustration, while sacrifice is often associated with sympathy and compassion. The regret about missing a valuable opportunity is present typically in compromise and not in sacrifice.

The decision to make a sacrifice is taken in light of the great benefit for the other person or for the relationship, while the decision to compromise is mainly taken out of fear of the risk and potential damage in pursuing the alternative. In compromise, the agent still believes in the greater value of the possible alternative and hence does not fully accept the existing situation. Accordingly, when making sacrifices people may not even stop to consider why they should make the sacrifice for their beloved. When making compromises, however, a sense of unfinished business can prevail and people might continue to doubt the value of the compromise and continue to yearn for the alternative. This will continue until they accommodate themselves to the new situation and no longer see it as entailing a compromise. Hence, compromises typically involve more emotional repercussions than do sacrifices.

Loving relationships involve both sacrifices and compromises. The sacrifices are easier to live with and lovers attempt to accommodate to their compromises and no longer view them as such. So although sacrifices and compromises are prevalent in romantic relationships, in genuine love they are not experienced as such.

The above considerations can be encapsulated in the following statement that a lover might express: “Darling, please sacrifice something for me so that I know that you love me, and in return I will stop considering you as the major compromise of my life.”

 

Lover Come Back to Me….

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.” Edna St Vincent Millay
“This aching heart of mine is singing, Lover come back to me.” Billy Holiday
“Jesse come home, there’s a hole in the bed where you slept.” Joan Baez
“I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my mom always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.” Unknown

Why is the phenomenon of yearning for ex-lovers so frequent and powerful? Is such yearning due to desperation or passion? Is it related to the quality of our ex or to a deficiency in our current romantic life? It would seem that various factors are involved.

Genuine love is profound — it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive. Indeed, the central features of romantic love, such as profound care, genuine reciprocity and intense desire, cannot be easily erased. They are more likely to fade, to be put aside, or to be buried under the existing circumstances; but they can make an impressive comeback in appropriate circumstances.

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Those circumstances are also associated with our present situation. When we are sad, lonely or just feeling we have lost ourselves, it is natural to look for an alternative situation. And one of the first places to do so is our past, and especially in our relationships with those people with whom we were in love. Our memories are one form of our imagination, which is part and parcel of our mental environment. By means of our imagination we can rapidly move from one place to another and from one time to another-dwelling more upon positive experiences we want to re-experience, or negative experiences we cannot escape.

Yearning for an ex-lover is a type of nostalgia for circumstances that no longer exist. It is usually marked by idealization of the past and an element of virtual reliving of the past”. Nostalgia is a bittersweet longing, combining the pleasurable feeling of the past with the pain of the empty or dull present. The content of nostalgia is pleasurable, but the sense of absence it provokes is painful (see here).

When we find ourselves in circumstances similar to those that prevailed with an ex-lover, we slip more readily into a nostalgic, romantic mood. Our memory is activated by any reoccurrence of circumstances that prevailed in the original experience. Listening to old love songs and watching romantic movies can provoke a strong yearning for the past lovers with whom we shared these songs or movies (or the content of them).

The wish to be back with the lover is not activated merely because our current situation is desperate, but also by the memory of a passionate love. Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise; at other times, profound love provides louder and deeper music. It is quite natural to yearn for a past lover, particularly if the original relationship was reciprocal and fulfilling.

Romantic reunion has its own unique charm. As Tryon Edwards said, “Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.” If, however, the parting is associated with traumatic negative experiences, the prospects of positive reunion might be reduced.

If we idealize our past romance even as we remember the negative parting, the conflict between these two ways of remembering the past can confuse us about the prospects of a romantic reunion. As someone said, “Some exes don’t get the picture that they will never be back in the picture.”
The charms of the past are also associated with past difficulties-after all, in most cases of broken relationships, the romance did not work out and parting was seen as the optimal solution. Given that most people are unlikely to have changed considerably, romantic reunions might be unable to surmount the difficulties that the relationship encountered in the past. It can be like seeing the same movie again and again while knowing that a sad ending is inevitable. Another difficulty of romantic reunions is that breakups are often not mutual; rather, one person dumps the other. In this case, the memory of the rejection and the inequality in status between the two lovers can be an obstacle to a romantic reunion.

There are some noticeable exceptions to the above gloomy prognosis for reunions. If the parting was due not to lack of love but to unfavorable external circumstances, such as when the two lovers were married to other people, or there were difficulties at work or in raising the children, should new circumstances arise that do not include the previous difficulties, the earlier love can be rekindled and a successful reunion might take place.

When a romantic relationship ends not because of romantic reasons, but due to nonromantic external circumstances, it leaves the relationship unresolved, in a state of unfinished business. And like other such unfinished affairs, this heightens the level of emotional intensity, since there are various options that might have evolved (see here). As Sarah Jessica Parker‘s character asks: “When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost, or are we forever haunted by the spirits of past relationships?” The lure of a possible romantic reunion is great, but so is the specter of another painful breakup. The following slogan on a T-Shirt sums this up: “I Feel Much Better Since I Gave Up Hope.” Our dreams about ex-lovers are not characterized by a sense of tranquility or peace of mind.

To sum up, yearning for past lovers is natural, and it may even lead to a successful reunion if the lovers parted because of nonromantic circumstances that have now changed. When the parting was due to lack of love, the prospects of such reunion are slim.

The above considerations can be encapsulated in the following statement that a lover might express: “Darling, my unforgettable precious princess, please come back to me as I am sure our previous distance can be bridged; otherwise our great love could be forgotten and our eager hearts might become accustomed to disuse.”

Darling, Why Do We Hurt the One We Love?

 

“You always hurt the one you love, the one you should not hurt at all;
You always take the sweetest rose, and crush it till the petals fall;
You always break the kindest heart, with a hasty word you can’t recall;
So if I broke your heart last night, it’s because I love you most of all.” (Mills Brothers)

“Love of my life, you hurt me, You broken my heart, now you leave me.” (Queen)

Love, which is such a noble attitude, often involves seemingly paradoxical behavior when we hurt the one we love. How can we explain such negative conduct toward someone who we love so much?
In this regard, we can distinguish three different behavior patterns:
(a) Hurting the one who loves you
(b) Unintentionally hurting the one you love
(c) Intentionally hurting the one you love.

The phenomenon of hurting the one who loves you, which is different from hurting the one we love is common. Profound love involves reciprocity, the lack of which is painful. For both sexes, mutual attraction is the most highly valued characteristic in a potential mate. The lover wants to be loved in return. The lover is ready to be committed, but expects to find similar commitment in the beloved’s attitude. A lack of reciprocity-that is, the knowledge that the one you love does not love you-is painful and humiliating, because it is a profound blow to your self-esteem. Unrequited love is painful and this pain can drive you to hurt the one you love.

Some people hurt the one they love unintentionally, while others do so intentionally. The first behavior pattern is easier to explain.

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There are many cases in which lovers are likely to hurt their beloved without intending to do so. Love is a close and intense relationship. Lovers spend considerable time together, and many activities of each have significant implications for the other person. Naturally in such circumstances, the lover may unwillingly hurt the beloved. For instance, one may devote a lot of time to work, thereby neglecting, and unwillingly hurting, one’s beloved. In many cases a by-product of an enjoyable activity to one person is an unpleasant situation for another. The more time two people spend together, the greater the likelihood of such situations. The great significance in our life of those we love is that these people are both a source of great happiness and deep sadness; they may benefit us as well as hurt us.

The phenomenon of hurting without intending to do so can also be explained by referring to the trust and sincerity which are essential in love. Accordingly, the role of politeness or good manners, which may prevent some kinds of insult, is of less importance in such a relationship, and lovers are less careful in what they say and do. This opens the way for a lover to easily get hurt. The price of being able to behave freely without having to consider every consequence of your deeds is saying and doing hasty things that may hurt your lover.

There are many cases in which we unintentionally hurt our beloved as a result of external circumstances that are beyond our control. Take the case of two lovers who are married to other people, but profoundly in love with each other. The woman, who can and is ready to get divorced, may be hurt by the man’s inability to leave his wife, believing that it indicates that his love for her is more superficial than hers for him. However much the man might really want to make her the happiest person in the world, his external circumstances are beyond his control and make him behave in a way that hurts her.

Hurting the beloved on purpose indicates the presence of conflicting perspectives, such as short term and long term perspectives, or partial and comprehensive perspectives. Cancelling a date with a married lover may hurt her in the short term, but might be beneficial in the long term, as their short-term separation could facilitate their long-term relationship. In such cases, the hurt caused to the beloved at this moment for the sake of her comprehensive well-being in the future can emanate from love.

Hurting the loved one can also be a last resort which the lover takes to bring this dependency to its appropriate proportion. Mutual dependency has many advantages, stemming from the fact that two people are joined together in an attempt to increase each other’s happiness. However, a sense of independence is also important for each person’s self-esteem. Sometimes lovers hurt their beloved in order to show their independence. Other times, however, hurting the beloved expresses an opposite wish: the lover’s wish for more dependency and attention. Indeed, a common complaint of married women, far more than of married men, is that their partners do not spend enough time with them. Hurting the beloved by stopping, for example, communicating with him, may be the last alarm bell that warns of the lover’s difficulties; it is an extreme measure signaling urgency. If the relationship is strong enough, as the lover wishes it to be, it should sustain this measure.

I do not want to say, as Oscar Wilde did, that “each man kills the thing he loves”; however, hurting one’s beloved is frequent. Since the beloved is a major source of happiness, this person is also a major threat to our happiness: more than anyone else, the beloved can ruin it.

Why Do We Love Those Who Don’t Love Us Back?

And so begins my February series of tough LOVE questions. February–an appropriate month for love questions, don’t you think? This series was inspired by a friend and coworker who initially suggested I pose this question for the blog: “If your house was burning, and you could only save one family member, who would it be?” I responded with “That’s impossible to answer.” So we boiled down to the nature of the question and realized what she was really asking was why would I, without a moment’s pause, reach for the hand of a beloved to save them from a burning building when they repeatedly don’t reply to my text messages, never initiate hang-outs and consistently miss important events in my life?

Because we love them. Even though they don’t show the signs of loving us back.

Family illustrates beautifully this inhuman ability we have to love siblings, children, and even parents who may never return the affection. Something within us persists. Pushes through the turned shoulders and blocked calls and can not–though we may try–stop loving. How would a non-Christian explain this strange strength that counters every fiber of our being? For the most common type of love is reciprocated, right?

Not always. Maybe you, like me, have loved someone you had no business loving at all. You tried to stop, but the love was inside of you and no action of your own would remove it. I remember confessing to my parents once that I was still in love with someone I knew for a fact did not love me back. My dad told me something I’ll never forget. Something that made me feel normal and that everything would be ok: “You can’t help who you love.” We don’t actually choose–what a load off.

So, I don’t believe we’re crazy for loving a rebellious older brother who’s never around, the dad that’s in and out of your life, or the boy that broke your heart. We can’t help who we love. God loves lots of people who don’t love Him back. When we do the same, we’re being a little like Him. We’re loving not based on condition but because the love is there, and we can’t get it out.

Understanding Why Falling In Love Can Be So Painful

At one point in our livetime, every single one of us will fall madly and deeply in love with another person. Whether the experience be labelled a teenage crush, an innocent infatuation, a soul mate union or even forbidden lust, no-one escapes the arrows of cupids aim whilst gracing this earth. Falling in love can be one of the beautiful experiences we will ever have.
The feelings unacquainted happiness, enthusiastic child-like joy and renewed passion for living life, can all be felt in abundance, leaving us content with having found our own sense of heaven on earth. So why is this same happiness experienced during love also the cause of so much misery and sadness in one’s life as well
Most cases of depression and suicides are rooted in situations where a person has fallen in love (over 50% of love marriages in the west end up in divorce). A multi-billion dollar industry has been created via psychiatrists, self help books, relationship guides, mentors, coaches etc to help people understand what happens during love, yet no one has been able to really been able to understand why falling in love can be so painful… no one except the ancient gurus who as always have documented everything in the ancient texts.
The mind-body complex is made up of a variety of layers including the body, mind, intellect and ego. The ego is our most subtle layer and is the final step before reaching what the yogis call our Atman (universal divine soul within us all). Overcoming the ego is in essence the overriding goal of all spiritual quests. The ego is what gives us an individuals a sense of identity. At this moment in time, my ego is telling me that is it me who is writing this article, whilst your ego is telling you, that you are reading the same post. Ego differentiates from one being to another, and its a natural tendency of the mind to attach itself to ones ego.
Ego is not present at birth, it only manifests in a baby after around 18 months or so, when we start to develop our own personal characteristics. Our whole childhood and adolescence is rooted in ego through education and environment. We become separated from one another at a young age through name, gender, height, academic abilities, talents, race, colour, behaviour etc.. and learn to identify ourselves through the identities created for us. We can go through our entire lives establishing our sense of individuality through the ego and not question any other form of existence.
Ego is firmly rooted in the concepts we have in our minds, however love bypasses the mind and is manifested in the heart. Love cannot bear separation and continuously yearns to be united with the target if its affection. Think back to when you were in love; even the moments where you beloved was sitting right next to you, did they not still seem so far away? We want to posses what we love and submerge totally in another’s thoughts and feelings. In love we totally loose ourselves, our sense or identity and sense of purpose and can spend our whole time thinking, feeling, pondering and fantasising about our partner.
Love creates compassion and unity with another being, ego craves for individuality and a sense of separation from the rest of the world. Here lies the root of relationship conflicts and why falling in love can cause us so much inner turmoil and pain. Ego and love cannot exist together in complete harmony, sure there may be a compromise from both sides and an uneasy marriage of the two components, but ultimately their differences are too vast to ensure any lasting union.
When a relationship breaks up, many times we blame the “other” person for all the problems we faced and fall into despair when they cannot reciprocate the way we want them to love us. Our hearts dictate that our partner should think, feel, speak, love and honour exactly the way we want….our partner is expected to be in total tune with our own thoughts. Ego on the other hand can only exist when it becomes rooted in a sense of individuality. Ego determines, “I think, speak, feel, love etc” for myself and no one else. This constant battle between these two internal facets, ultimately what can wear us down and turn the beautiful experience of love into a painful and miserable experience.
The way to come out of such feelings is simply to raise your own awareness of who you really are. By going beyond your own ego, you will realise you are so much more than the individual labels society has given you. We are all part of a divine subconsciousness where everything belongs to everyone. The same way your left eye does not get jealous of your right eye, your love for another being will never get distorted if you feel a strong sense of belonginess to this entire creation. If the whole cosmos belongs to you, then surely your lover also is a part of you too.
If your lover is already a part of you, how could you ever feel hurt or pain with whatever he or she does? Whether your lover reciprocates your feelings, or whether they reject your advances, it really does not matter. Its our very own sense of identity and expectations which causes our own misery. Vivekananda once wrote “there is not a single blow we receive in this world, which we have not brought upon about ourselves”. The statement is highly controversial for most people, but he is speaking from an extremely elevated perspective where he is referring to how our lack of awareness of our true infinite nature is the only cause of any problems we face in this world.
Not everybody will comprehend this article, as we are now going beyond the scope of rationale thinking, and entering the realms of yogic knowledge. Yoga is a combination of experiencing life and uncovering deep rooted knowledge within. Falling in love is perhaps one of the most life defining moments any of us will ever have, yet so little is understood about what really happens during the whole process. When falling in love, pain is inevitable but prolonged misery can be optional, simply by studying the essence of who and what we really are. Yoga goes a long way towards guiding us to how our minds work, and how we can overcome any mental or emotional problems we may face along the way.

3 Secrets About Girls Every Guy Should Know!

n this article, I’ll tell you what you ABSOLUTELY MUST know about your woman to attract her, win over her heart, and grow her love for you!

1) It should be no suprise to know that every woman wants…CRAVES Romance! If you want this girl, give her what she wants. Some guys would freak out whenever they hear this word ‘romance’. You really need not have to crack your brains really hard or spend too much energy and time to know what you are doing is right. Many times, being romantic often means giving her the attention she wants. The good news is that this doesn’t mean all the time. What most guys don’t realize is that if you do things for her, or give her things occassionally you get just as much credit from her as if you do something big rarely.

Does it cost a lot to be romantic? Not really! What you can do is:

1) Ask her how her day went!

Tuck a friendly or love note using different methods and in different ways, telling her she is on your mind.
If she has listened to you complain about your boss, be sure and TELL HER how much you liked her listening.
If she has made you some home made chicken soup, find ways to let her know “You are a wonderful person!”
Just the fact that you would take time will make her feel more bonded to you than you can imagine.
2) Shows her that you care!

Such as…Teach her how to write a webpage for her favorite pet. Teach her how to program the VCR. Teach her how to fish. Teach her to cook your secret recipe. The idea is to invove her in your life. Don’t simply wait to spend time with her when you feel like it. Offer to help her as well and be patient enough to explain and teach her the solutions, even if it’s not easy to teach. Many other people are too impatient to teach or even show her how to do it; most just want to get it over and done with. You can win over her heart if you can be that some one DIFFERENT and SPECIAL.

3) Women love men who are STRONG

You seem to be living in a world of your own, and women admire you for your ability to keep your lives AND have a relationship at the same time. You don’t worry much; and seem to keep your feelings inside of you. To become such a ‘man’, you have to be remember that she needs to feel PROUD of you and what you accomplish. You know how to have a divine life and keep a blissful relationship at the same time. All of these can be achieved if you would learn how to increase and cultivate your magnetic power! Thus, to attract and keep the woman of your dreams, do not ‘lose’ your-self whilst going into a relationship.

 

*Do you know that those theories or “formulas” out there which teach you how to win over your woman’s heart is useless if you do not know what she needs and wants in dating, relationship, marriage, romance or sex? Get under-her-radar and know exactly what your woman is looking in a relationship or marriage today!

She Still Is Untrusting

She still is untrusting. Why?

Have you asked her why she still is untrusting?

She alone knows why and only she can tell you exactly why she still is untrusting.

One source describes a woman’s heart as a deep ocean. Sometimes it’s difficult to know for sure what’s in there.

But then that applies as much to men as to women.

The human heart is a deep ocean. When someone tells you something, it’s difficult to tell whether the person is lying or not except if the person has a reputation for lying.

How does this apply to your situation?

Well, she has a reason for not trusting what you say. You say you love her. You say you will do whatever it takes to win her. It sounds to me as if your love is genuine.

But obviously she has doubts about the genuineness of your love.

Why?

Maybe she has been jilted before. Maybe someone has broken her before. If not, then maybe she has read or watched a number of heartbreak stories. Or she may have a friend or relative who have been broken hearted.

Whatever the case, she has doubts about the genuineness of you love.

How will you convince her that your love is true love?

First, don’t pressure her excessively. Sometimes men who pressure or ‘harass’ women to love them turn out to be bullies – men who just won’t take ‘no’ and will bully you until you’re forced to do things their way.

You say you’ve caused drama.

Perhaps that’s what makes her scared of loving you. Dramatic men can be tough to handle. They just won’t see things your way and they insist you must do things their way.

That’s enough to scare any sane girl.

You can’t force a girl to love you. The love relationship just won’t work.

You demonstrate your love by being . . .

Caring
Tender
Selfless – be concerned about her needs not yours
Affectionate
Reasonable – not always insisting on having your way
These are the signs of true love.

After you’ve demonstrated that your love is genuine she still may not want you.

Why?

Simple. You may not fit the picture of her ideal man.

Once a girl has her heart crossed that you’re not the man for her, the heavens have to intervene for her to change her mind.

The truth is . . . many girls are in love with a dream. Their picture of the ideal man for them is unrealistic. But it’s a dream they hold on to dearly and your efforts at making them fall in love with you may not yield positive result.

You say, “all I know is that I can’t lose this girl”.

But truth is, if she says a permanent ‘No’, you have to live without her. You can’t force her to love you. If you pressurize beyond acceptable limits, she can sue you or enforce her right to freedom of choice some other way.

If after you have done all you have to do to demonstrate your love she still doesn’t want you, cut your loses and move on.

Sooner or later, you will find a girl who will love you as you deserve to be loved.

I’ve been in your shoes before. I had a girl I loved so much from childhood. I loved her so much that I was willing to do anything to have her. But she didn’t feel that way about me. She was content to have me as a friend.

Years later I met my wife. She’s a perfect present from heaven. She’s God‘s gift to me for loving without reservation. Now I thank, yes, I bless God that that first girl say No.

So, if this girl refuses you, don’t get mad with her. She has a right to decide whom she wants to spend her life with.

Instead, accept it in good faith. My God will reward you with a girl who will love you even beyond your dreams.

Can True Love Still be Found in Today’s World?

From ancient times to the present true love, or the bonding of two people in a life long union, has always existed and, for most, has always been the sought for ideal. Unfortunately, a number of people down through the ages, have been unable to find true love.

However, despite the fact that, from ancient times to the present, there have been people who have not found true love, the majority of people throughout history probably have found true love or something close to it.

The question in this request, in todays time do we see true love among people?, implies that true love barely exists or is in danger of vanishing in the present time.

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However, one possible answer to this that true love is so common, both today and in the past, that we don’t notice it. What we do notice are the exceptions or the cases of people where true love doesn’t exist.

Like the old journalist adage man bites dog is newsworthy while dog bites man is not newsworthy. Divorces and messy breakups are the exception and are thus newsworthy while happy marriages are common and don’t stand out.

True Love is Alive and Well Today – It is Just Not That Visible

When people talk about true love they usually have the image of a long term, loving relationship in mind. However, this is not what is most prominent in the information we receive each day. Marital breakups, spousal abuse, infidelity, etc. are the focus of attention while the fact that far more people are going about their daily lives happily married is usually overlooked. This is true of both the media and plain old gossip.

The fact that a co-worker, neighbor, relative, friend, etc. is having problems or has done something wrong makes for good gossip, or the evening news if it is big enough and juicy enough.

While the fact that many more people we know are happily going about their daily lives rarely merits comment. In fact the only time such everyday things stand out is when they are the exception – when the rest of the neighbors are filing for divorce and the Joneses remain happily married that might warrant a comment or when all of the couples in a group except for one couple spend all their time bickering with each other, then the one couple that is not bickering will have some limited gossip value. However, things that are tragic or wrong or both make for far more interesting topics for journalists and gossips than good things.

Also, because it is more exciting, Eros has long been a theme for art and literature while Agape, being more common and more mundane, is usually only discussed in self-help books.

This is why almost every story, novel, stage play and movie dealing with romance ends with And they lived happily ever after. However, had the author continued on to describe living happily ever after they would have put the audience/reader to sleep because, while living happily ever after is great for those is great for oneself, it is boring to read about or view it in others. Sure, we may be happy for them and even be slightly envious of what they have, but for entertaining diversion most of us want something with more action, suspense and tragedy.

Being in Love

What is being in love?

Someone said you will know the real meaning of love when you fall in love. Isn’t it true that nobody can speak the truth about love unless he is or was in love? What is love and why is there such a fuss about this word LOVE? Generally speaking love is special feeling that everyone has for their own mother, father or other siblings. It also means a special feeling for someone who has touched your heart and soul and has knocked you off your feet by her attraction or behavior totally unconnected o your family, friends or foe. Many love quotes have done their rounds in the midst of lovers and lover’s hater’s. There has never really been a love quote deficiency in this world wherein one had to go in search for a suitable love quote to describe what love really is.

Love knows no boundaries, love is blind, etc are all tradition love descriptions. A special day is celebrated every year to celebrate this wonderful relationship called love. It is always exaggerated and lovers usually use the most impossible language to explain how much they love their mate. it takes 3 seconds to say I love you, but a lifetime to prove it. In this game named love man and women often blame one another for being nativ or intolerable when it comes to wooing or love making.

The book about these sentiments and behaviors of the opposite sex is best showcased in the books like men are from mars, and women are from Venus. But still there is no formula defining this relationship as a whole. Like this quote here, you’ll be confused after reading this about what to be or not to be in love. Don’t be too good I will miss you. Don’t be too caring. I might like you. Don’t be too sweet, I might fall. It’s hard for me to love you when you won’t love me after all.

As john Keats puts in a thing of beauty is a joy forever, I feel love is definitely a thing of beauty worth living and even dieing for. Just like Bryon quotes,

Alas! The love of women! It is known To be a lovely and fearful thing! It’s true that many men consider a fearful thing and always associate the women to the famous beauty and the beast. But in reality it is women who should be fearful of men as many a love stories are ended by men. I feel men break love often than women. Emotional bonding is what women get into in a love relationship and they find it hard to cope up or even take the fact that their love has left them for good. But as Plato rightly puts in at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. That’s true because when someone is madly in love all he can think of is growing a beard and writing a poem on his lady love. As for women they become mobile dream factories always smiling and giggling on heir own without any proper reason. These are all the symptoms of love which has infected the hearts and souls of those who have it. Its surprising that even Lao Tzu had commented on love thus, being deeply loved by someone gives you strength While loving someone deeply gives you courage

The lovers definitely get empowered with so much courage all in the name of love; they are ready to leave home, their parents or even their jobs to go behind their soul mate. Many go crazy thinking and experiencing the love at first sight. From time and again movies portray love in all forms. When the movie called you’ve got a mail was released the horizon shifted from loving in real life to the internet online life. It opened up new vista’s to explore love even without seeing or touching one another.

Online love stories have increased since and if have the time just search for online love stories and you will be spell bound at the numerous stories you find. Thus being in love is such a wonderful miracle worth living for. It opens up your heart sometimes rips it apart too, but love still lives on that wonderful hearty trop when you think of those loving moments still keep you alive and youthful.