Bad Boys: Nice Girls’ Ticket to Hell or Ego Trip?

Why do women fall for the bad boys, you know the player types, the ones who have run-ins with the law, or habitually use drugs — the Tommy Lees, Charlie Sheens and Colin Farrells of this world?

No doubt this question has been asked countless times already, but since some women don’t seem to tire dating the bad seeds, we don’t tire asking the same question either. Some women just seem to find the four-letter-word-spewing, motorcycle-riding mischief-makers so often glorified in novels and Hollywood films sexy and irresistible. There’s just something about the rogue types that breaks down a woman’s defenses and makes her defy everything just to be with him.

And some women just have a weird way of justifying the behavior of these guys: He climbs fences, smashes windows, puts a gun to her head if he refuses to see him or answer his calls (“He just knows what he wants and pursues it with much intensity.”). He threatens her family after they forbade her from seeing him (“He’s just incredibly assertive and won’t put up with anything that might prevent him from getting what he wants.”). He mauls and almost kills a man who turns out to be her cousin after he sees him leaving his girlfriend’s apartment (“He just loves me too much he can’t bear the though of losing me to another man.”).

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To relationship experts, however, the nice-girls-falling-hopelessly-in-love-with-the-reckless-types scenario is more a reflection of the woman’s confidence levels than the bad boys’ seemingly irresistible sex appeal. Let’s face it: Women who have healthy self-esteem simply won’t put up with all that nonsense (womanizing, constant putdowns, endless lies) that bad boys put their significant others through. So, could it be that these nice girls believe, on a subconscious level, that they deserve nothing but some kind of a freak? You know, like attracts like. Water seeks its own level.

OR maybe it’s because women are just natural nurturers. They simply love taking care of ultra virile, albeit, wayward men. There could also be some ego involved. Like, perhaps some women have this notion that it takes a strong, secure woman to keep up with all the crap, so if they’re able to change him, they must really be something else.

OR maybe these women just have a penchant for drama, and that the endless fights, threats and window-smashing are nothing but food for their drama-craving souls.

OR these women could be the sheltered/overprotected types. They have been good girls all their lives and are now trying to rebel. They find the good guys too patient, too eager to please, too kind, too soft. in short, ho-hum. They look at the bad apples as a challenge: All the bickering and violence and making up provide a sense of danger which gives them some form of adrenaline rush, making the relationship one hell of an exhilarating ride.

OR maybe they’re just good girls gone mad. The masochistic types who appreciate pleasure only after much pain.

Many women who hook up with bad boys only end up heartbroken and exhausted (or dead). Still, many eventually realize that (bad) boys will always be (bad) boys, and that bad boys do make bad (extremely bad) boyfriends, and even worse husbands.

For the girls – looking for alternatives to meet real guys who’ll respect you?

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